D., bless his heart, spent fifteen minutes at the grocery store today looking for the "real" bacon bits, because that's what I wanted. So he came home, threw them on the counter and said, "Must every dizzy bitch that I date have some ridiculously specific item that's absolutely impossible for a man to find at the grocery store?"
I think so. I think it's the rules. Mine are truly the real bacon bits, and pimentos.
And extra-long super-absorbant deodorant maxipads so totally don't count. I've learned to just say "Anything that'll cork it," and deal with what I get. Because if I say "unscented Tampax tampons," I'll invariably end up with pillow-sized maxipads.
So. What is it that you ask for that's impossible for anyone but you to find at the store?
Yeah, that still happens too, but I'm trying to cut him some slack. Remember that hp commercial where the chick sent her boyfriend to the grocery store with pictures of everything, instead of a list? That was awesome.
Posted by: Shannon at November 5, 2003 08:32 PMJust to balance the tables...I'll shop any woman alive into the ground. I don't care if it's a market in Philly or a convenience store in Juneau. See, I hate shopping (unless it's books or CD's and sometimes clothes), so I've mastered store layouts and price concerns. Lay the money down and step up to the challenge...
Posted by: Adam (aka branmuffin) at November 6, 2003 07:44 AMIt's just like a guy to say he can "shop any woman alive into the ground" just because you're fast. Shopping is not about efficiency. Shopping is about getting stuff. That and enjoying your role in the capitalist system while working up a consumerist glow.
Posted by: Anne at November 6, 2003 08:23 AMI think it's called Male Pattern Blindness (MPB).
Posted by: Toby at November 6, 2003 10:57 AMWell, I've tried enjoying my role in the capitalist temples, but it just rings hollow to me. Oh, and I get stuff too. All the stuff on my list that is (and, of course, at least one product containing chocolate that I hadn't planned on buying...and maybe some cheetos...and maybe some V-8...and maybe some...hehe...
Posted by: Adam at November 6, 2003 05:11 PMThe other half, not being from New England, didn't know what the hell Moxie was and walked around the store for twenty minutes before calling me on the cell phone asking "I give up. What the fuck is Moxie and what the hell aisle can I find it in?"
Posted by: Kathleen at November 6, 2003 08:41 PMI find that when asked, "what would you like from the store?" my answer is, more often than not, "to be held and told I'm pretty".
Oddly enough, it happens when I'm at the store alone, although sometimes the smelly retarded stockboy gets into the act, but that's my fault for not being specific.
And as an aside, any man who can't find a box of "OB Super Ultra Jumbo Slim Fecundity Aversion Devices" needs to get hooked on phonics.
Posted by: V. at November 7, 2003 09:05 AMWhat the fuck is Moxie?
Posted by: Anne at November 7, 2003 09:08 AMHere, Anne - http://www.mainegoodies.com/food/Moxie/ - and it takes like carbonated sassafras tea. Yeah, that bad.
I loved reading this. It makes living alone seem almost preferable. I did notice that not one guy mentioned anything about intentionally jerking a girl around with goose chases. Hmmm. It seems to keep the ladies entertained to watch us do tricks, though, so whatever.
Posted by: Big John at November 7, 2003 02:54 PMIt's not bad, just an acquired taste.
And, just because he gets all squirrely, I often ask for tampons, even when I'm not out of them.
Posted by: Kathleen at November 7, 2003 07:27 PMHmm, now you've got me wondering why the artfully feigned incompetence (that allows us to offload most domestic chores onto our wives and girlfriends) breaks down in the supermarket... I sense the need for some serious R&D.
Posted by: Jonathon Delacour at November 8, 2003 06:37 AM the problem with the GNU coding standards is they ASSUME that
everyone in the world uses emacs.. If that were the case, free
software would die because we would all have wrist problems
like RMS by now and no longer be able to code. ;>
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Posted by: nude grannies at November 19, 2004 04:57 PM
my guy's been here 3 1/2 years now and still has trouble finding things at the store for me -- and I mean *anything*, it can be something he's never had to look for or something he's picked up with no troubles ever a million times. and he forgets stuff, too, even though I give him a list. he also calls several times while he's *at* the store to ask questions like, where are the apples? he's got the tampons down though ;)
Posted by: gwen at November 5, 2003 08:26 PM