Big John reminded me of this at about 3 a.m. last night. I can't believe I'd forgotten, but you know... when other stuff happens that's also funny and/or strange, you get fuzzy. I can only hold the memory of seven funny and/or strange things in my head at once.
This guy walks up to the microphone, and hands me a cellphone. Now remember, I've had four or five shots at this point, and this is in front of a bar full of people.
Guy: Would you tell my wife that you're not my girlfriend, that you're just singing at the bar?
Me: ....What?
Guy: Just tell her, please.
Me: [takes cellphone] I'm not his girlfriend, I'm just some singer at the bar. But he is a hottie.
Girl on phone: [silence]
Me: Hello?
Girl on phone: Who is this?
Me: I'm just a folk singer, dude. See, listen: [strums guitar]
Girl on phone: [silence]
Guy in Crowd: Hold it up to the microphone.
Girl on phone through microphone: [silence]
Me: [hands phone back to guy] You're in trouble. I think you should go home and give her a good deep dickin'.
Guy: [takes phone] Hello?
Girl on phone: [silence]
Guy: [hangs up] Shit.
Me: That wasn't very smart. How long have you been married?
Guy: A year and a half.
Me: And you're still putting up with this shit?
Guy: She's not even the first.
Me: I doubt she'll be the last. Bartender, get this man a shot of Jagermeister.
it's a shame that families can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
-jack handy
yo, shannon--your front page looks good, but "Chat" is cut off...just wanted to let you know.
-A
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